Success Coaching: Hopelessness

success coaching

Depressive States

In a depressed state it can seem that there is no hope for the future every thing seems dark and gloomyand it may feel like it is impossible to see the light at the end of the tunnel, however through time the light will always come eventually.

Depression comes and goes, it will be trigered by Social factors and it will be social factors that help take it away. Conversation and contemplation are key to dealing with feelings of hopelessness.

Denial – Blame Self and Others

Denial can come in two forms of expression, both have negative consequences and create a reinforcing circle to the depression, but blame can be an important step to freedom if it is properly understood.

How we deal with blame is important, it has been said that blaming others is a sign of psychosis and blaming oneself is a sign of neurosis. However these are extreme forms of blame and do not really apply to depression, most people will find they have normal levels and blends of both.

Both forms of blame have their advantages and disadvantages, for example to blame yourself when you have been victimised is a disadvantage, as it would be to blame society, friends, family, neighbours, police, hospital or social workers.

Blaming others for your situation

When people blame others for their situation, their inner self can get desperately, hurt and respond with anger, and although this can bring about tears and distress and open can’s of worms bringing the anger to the surface, It is not good to keep this anger fuelled.

One must not respond to blaming of others, just sit tight until these feelings have passed and do not dwell on the thoughts that make you angry. Keep yourself focused on your immediate situation on the things that are pertinent for your life, right now. Keep your life focused on the present and not past or future. These feelings of blame will pass as time goes by, try not to dwell and fuel them, and keep them alive.

Blaming yourself for your situation

Blaming yourself can be equally as passionate, desperate and emotional as blaming others and again this situation must be changed in order to pass otherwise it will only serve to fuel the depression.

Blame creates a whole baggage of emotional problems that fuels depression like nothing else, and leaves people carrying around the weight of the world on their shoulders. This problem really is best tackled before it gets out of hand and grows. This problem is not going to be solved by force but instead by gentle penetrating contemplation.

Blame Fuels Depression

Blame really does fuel depression and clings to your whole being mentally and physically overwhelming your ability to perform even the most simplest of tasks, taking away your ability to concentrate on real life events like paying bills, working and socialising. Blame tends to direct a person into thinking about what is insufficient in their lives and not and focusing on what must be increased at a time when you really need to be happy.

This is a time when one should contemplate about social and individual improvement, a time when we need to think about strenthening our confidence to aid a happy life style and improve our personality and character.

Denial – Avoidance

Avoidance can both destroy us and save us, avoidance is not the cause of depression, it is but a symptom. The depressed individual can become an expert on avoidance, and attempt to avoid the negative aspects to life which give them pain but also the positive aspects too, including positive aspects which could heal.

Avoiding Pleasure

Pleasure is not just that which makes us happy; laughing, joking and smiling, pleasure is also the gentle, loving, and caring aspects to our lives that gives us an inner feeling of calm and peace. Depression can unsettle this peacefulness and keep us on edge, always worrying, stressing, pacing and avoiding human social contact that lasts more than just a few minutes at a time.

Literally avoiding all the good things in our life which can help, if only we could settle long enough to experience them. It is the small things in life that can heal and bring pleasure, however the feelings from depression lead the self away from enjoying these moments, as the depression is self reinforcing, step by step, little by little, robbing the depressed of their ability to persevere.

Avoiding Pain

The depressed individual can avoid many things in life just to escape any reminders of their problems, including avoiding television and radio, as they become hypersensitive to many comments and situations even when they are innocent.

The fear of adding to their pain and the desperation of their physical and social well being, can be such that all the little things in life seem to be negative and grow to such a scale that life can seem full of pitfalls and troubles.

Denial – Hope

Out of every aspect of humanity and socialisation, perhaps the greatest human quality whatsoever is hope. Hope is what makes us different and individual in every way, we all have different hopes every day, relating to our life both past and future and the present. When our hopes are dashed it can be the most devastating thing of all, we need hope, more than anything else it is number one.

Hope gives us imagination, power, confidence and the ability to succeed like nothing else in the world it can make us feel like kings. When hope comes to us depression leaves and vice versa.

So why is hope so important?

In most things we do in life at first they are difficult, it is only after practice and experience that things become easy. It is hope that carries us through the initial difficulties and failures, it is hope that keeps us looking on the bright side and exploring solutions.

It is hope that keeps us persevering.

Past Hope

So why is hope so important? In most things we do in life at first they are difficult, it is only after practice and experience that things become easy. It is hope that carries us through the initial difficulties and failures, it is hope that keeps us looking on the bright side and exploring solutions.

It is hope that keeps us the strength to start new projects.

Present Hope

It is hope that keeps us on track, when we hit problems it is hope that enables us to be flexible and adapt. When we are feeling hopeful we are full of enthusiasm and can generate the interest of others to follow us and join.

It is hope that allows us to follow our dreams

Future Hope

Once we have accomplished our dreams it is hope that allows us to sit and enjoy them. Finishing our tasks is not the end it is merely a time to relax and reflect and the first step in moving on to newer and better things, all the while striving to improve our lifestyles.

It is hope that allows us to stop, relax and enjoy.

Life Experience

Of course there are going to be times when we worry or are concerned about how we are going to manage and pay the bills, life is like the seasons, we can start building up supplies of money, having money, spending money, having no money. Just as spring leads to winter, the spring will always come back when the time is right.

Our pets don’t have to worry, they wake, they sleep, they eat, and they can live happy content lives, but we as people need more than that, we are ideological and have abstract thoughts, hopes and accomplishments.

Living under the safety net of the state and modern society, we know we are safe, we really don’t have to worry about surviving, we can always find people to help us.

However to really live, you need to do more than survive, we need our independence, this gives us the ability to hope and build, when we need to work harder we can work harder, and thus when we have what we need we can relax.

Without the need to do more, we lose our ability to do more, we can drift into dependency, and drift into depression.

 

 

Success Coaching: Hopelessness by Brian C Nissen

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